I want it, I deserve it!!

Jealousy-Is-The-Art-DC01 Envy- a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck ( Dictionary.com)

Raise your eyebrow if you can admit of ever been envious. Envy isn’t a trait that we usually boast about having, but It’s an hidden issue that’s rarely spoken about. We don’t know how that emotion arises in us, but we become ashamed of having those feelings.

Our human nature is all about “Self”. I want it, I deserve it is what we say to justify our feelings. I deserve to be first, I deserve to win, I deserve to live there, I deserve that vacation, I deserve that relationship, I deserve that career, I deserve that… The list goes on and on.

There have been occasions that I felt like I deserved something that I didn’t have… I started with a whirlwind of questions; why wasn’t I good enough to have this thing? What was I lacking? Why did that person get it and I didn’t get it? Women tell the truth, what crosses your mind when someone have something you think you deserve?

I know for me when I would start focusing on all the things other people had, I stopped being grateful for the things I had. I begun devaluing my blessings and accomplishments only focusing on what others had.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t desire more out of life. However, there’s a problem when you believe you’re more deserving than the other person. Envy that’s not dealt with turns to bitterness and hardness of the heart.

As women we should be uplifting, encouraging, supporting and rejoicing for one another…. Envy will have you putting down, gossiping, secretly hating and discouraging the woman right beside you. Remember there’s process and sacrifice behind everything you see in another person’s life.

Behind envy is usually insecurity, doubt and fear….

What can you do to rid yourself of Envy?

So put aside every trace of malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander and hateful speech; ( 1Peter 2:1)

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Proverbs 14:30)

Examine your heart
Make the confession of the emotion
Remind yourself of all the great things that you have in your life
Remember God knows the plan He has for your life
Be anxious for nothing

If you find yourself envious of another person’s life, don’t beat yourself up. Pray and make yourself a grateful list. I remember this song from my youth the chorus is ” Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done”!

Be Kind, Be Bold & Be a Woman on the Move

Compressed

laundry-pile

Hey Beautiful Lady,

I decided to do laundry one afternoon, so I emptied my laundry hamper on the floor to sort the clothes. When I finished emptying my hamper, my entire floor was covered with clothes.

The clothes were compressed in the hamper.

When you compress something or when it compresses, it is pressed or squeezed so that it takes up less space.

Compress definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary

I saw clothing that I hadn’t seen in a very long time, I forgot about some of the items. Out of sight, out of mind! The clothes were packed in so tight there’s no way I could deal with all of those clothes in one day of washing.

Why did I let the clothes pile up? How did I maintain my life with all those clothes in the hamper? How could this one hamper hold so many of my clothes? As I begin to sort those clothes, I went through so many emotions while sitting on my bedroom floor. I was surrounded by clothes that I could no longer avoid. I was Happy to see some items that I liked wearing. I was Overwhelmed that I had to wash so many items. I was sad that I allowed life to consume me, so I compressed EVERYTHING!

I had a choice in that moment, do I deal with what I had been avoiding or do I put it ALL back in the hamper?

I attempted to put it back in the hamper because I don’t think I had the emotional or physical strength to deal with these clothes. I cried as I put everything back on the floor in the various piles. It was time to deal with LIFE… I could no longer avoid those things I had been compressing. It was items I wanted to wear, I needed to wear.

I realized the clothes were just a representation of my life issues. Life became hard and overwhelming, so I kept pushing down EVERYTHING. Now what had I pushed down in my life to make room for other stuff… Death, heartache, friendships, children, finances, etc…

After I washed everything which took more than that afternoon, I felt happy & accomplished because I dealt with my issues.

Ladies let’s face it, It may be Out of sight, out of mind, but it is still there. Take some time and deal with some stuff you have been avoiding.

Will it be easy to face things that you’ve pressed down? No, it will take work and commitment. But the longer you avoid it the harder it will be.

It’s time… Time to deal with your finances, your health, your credit, relationships, insecurities, fear of commitment, childhood issues, heartache, raising children etc. It’s time to Decompress!

Be Kind, Be Bold and Be a Woman on the Move!

Wrong Bus, Wrong Stop…

train on road beside cars during nighttime — Photo by Justin Hamilton on Pexels.com

Hey Beautiful Lady,

I wasted my precious time… I’m still puzzled on how something that seemed so right ended up wrong. Everything appeared to have been going right for me, but I still ended up in the wrong place. I got on the shuttle after work because I didn’t want to walk a 10 minute journey in the cold by myself. I got on the shuttle so confident that I would get to my destination quickly. However, as the journey continued my confidence and joy faded.

How did I get confused with this familiar shuttle… I was distracted! I wanted immediate relief from the outside elements, so I went to something that appeared familiar. I was familiar with the appearance of the bus and the driver of the bus, but I NEVER caught that shuttle at that stop. I guess you can say my desperation pushed away my common sense.

The shuttle took me on a 45 minute journey in the opposite direction, I was too embarrassed to ask any questions. I made a lot of assumptions in my mind. Eventually everyone got off of the shuttle and I sat there all alone. I was confused and a little ashamed for not speaking up sooner. Finally, I asked the driver, if this bus went to my destination, she smiled then said you got on at the wrong stop.

When it was all over I had went to every bus stop on her route, I was forced to stop and wait at the 15 minute layover. During these stops I was very frustrated, because my precious time was being wasted. This wasn’t where i belonged, so I wanted to get off. But, I didn’t want to walk too far in the dark. I laughed at myself when it was all over because I really could have walked from the beginning .”Don’t be in such a rush to get comfort, please count the cost”.

A bus is meant to take you somewhere, but if you’re not careful you can definitely go to an unwanted/undesired place.

Desiring a quick fix, loneliness or desperation can force you on the wrong bus. This can lead you into being in financial debt, stuck in the wrong place, back in an old relationship or completely out of your purpose. Be careful!

Take some time to ask yourself:

Are you going in the wrong direction?
Do you feel like you’re going in circles ?
Are you fulfilling purpose?
Has loneliness, fear, doubt desperation, or comparison caused you to go back to the familiar ?
Have you become distracted?

Everyday is a new day, so choose to make decisions that will make your life better. You don’t have go along with a poor choice, you can change at any time. So what… Don’t stay on the wrong bus!!

Be Bold, Be Kind and Be a Woman on the Move

Thermostat or Thermometer… Which one are you?

round-mercury-thermostat Hi Beautiful Lady,

I was listening to a sermon on the radio a while back about making a difference and we should check to see if we are being a thermostat or thermometer. The segment only lasted about 23 minutes and he only mentioned the thermometer/thermostat part for a few seconds. However, I have been examining myself since I heard the message. I had to look up the meanings of these words because I was truly curious .

The definitions according to Webster:

Thermometer an instrument for determining temperature ( I just read the environment of the room, I can’t control anything)

Thermostat provides or control the temperature( I have the power to control the environment, I dictate what I want the room to be)

I begin to ponder on those definitions and asked myself a few questions. Do I just go with the flow of my environment/life? Do I have the power to change an environment? Do I see things happening at work, school, family and the community and I just shake my head? I had to be truthful with myself because sometimes I’m just a thermometer! I see things in my life or in the world around me that needs change and I do absolutely Nothing. A thermometer can’t change the temperature it only interpets the temperature. Remember the saying, when you know better, do better. However, we don’t always do what we know is best.

I remember working in a building and no matter how the employees felt, we had no control of how cold or hot it got. I felt powerless because I could be feeling really cold or hot but someone else dictated my reality .

Why have I taken the position of a thermometer when I have the power and abilities to be a thermostat?
Who locked away my power and control behind a locked box?
Did I give someone my key and now they tell me what I should feel or how/when it should change?

Ladies, have you ever came in to a room and it was heavy with confusion, drama, depression, sickness, lies, un-forgiveness, self-pity or self-defeat well what did you do? Sometimes the very room I’m talking about is your own Life. Everyday, we’re faced with the choice to go along with what we see, hear or feel or we can use our abilities to make a change.

Do you like what you see with your health, relationships, finances, dreams, workplace, families, community and government? What have you done to change what you see? Have you gone along with the flow because you believe it will never change? Do you know how to change it? Most times when I just gave up my power, it was because I believed it has always and will forever remain this way. I didn’t want to get involved. I felt defeated. I felt hopeless.

Why have you allowed how someone else’s feelings dictate how you feel or react/respond? Why have someone else’s thinking or belief impacted your ability to move forward with your life? He doesn’t want to be married, so why has that hindered you from believing you were good enough? You didn’t have the best childhood growing up,so why does that control how you treat your own children? No one you know has ever owned a home or was a business owner, so why has that stopped you from pursing your dream … We have daily encounters with people and situations which we voluntarily and subconsciously become thermometers.

Today, make a decision that you will be the change you want to see. Decide that you will no longer go with the flow, but you will use your God-given power to make change. Speak change, Be change and Invoke change… Everyday choose to be the best you can be, even if that means asking for help to be a better you.

The bible say, Faith without works is dead…Put some action to the situation you desire to change. There maybe times you can’t physically change a situation or make a person change, but you can Always pray to an ALL POWERFUL GOD who can move mountains!!!

Be Kind, Be Bold and Be A Woman on the Move!

How to stop fear from ruining your future!

bird s eye view photography of road in the middle of desert

Hey Beautiful Lady,

Let’s talk about this four letter word that has enough strength to paralyze your future if you let it.

Webster defines fear as: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.

It’s an emotion that can control our senses, our appetite, our abilities, sleep pattern, and the digestive tract.

We won’t admit that fear has stopped us from moving forward into new careers, new opportunities, entering or exiting relationships, checking our credit scores, going to the doctors, finishing task we started, asking for raises at work, asking/giving help, becoming entrepreneurs, traveling the world and discovering who we truly are internally.

Am I alone , I didn’t want to be a failure so I let fear stop me from starting. I didn’t know what the unknown was so I stayed in my comfortable place. I didn’t want to be rejected so, I never tried. Fear allowed me to grab any excuse that could arise…So I let it stop me.

Fear it’s time to go… So I can grow!

First be honest with yourself
Face your fear, it doesn’t have to control or cripple your decisions
Change and renew your thinking
Don’t wallow in past failures and disappointments
Trust the process of leaving your comfort zone
Stop self sabotage
Put the work in for your goals
Believe in yourself
Speak positive words of affirmation
Avoid negative thinking and talking

Most importantly God hasn’t given us the spirit of fear but of power, love and of sound mind.( 2 Timothy 1:7)

Be Kind, Be Beautiful, Be a Woman on the Move

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Are you stuck in a cycle?

Hey Beautiful Lady,

Do you find yourself repeating life over and over again? We can have the best intentions about changing and still end up on the same broken path.

Have you seen the movie Ground Hog Day in which every day Bill Murray woke up was the same day he just left? Can you imagine waking up everyday to the same day?

Consider the process of the washing machine: wash, rinse then spin. How would you feel, if you put your clothes in the washing machine in the next step never occurred? Just imagine if your load of clothes kept spinning without stopping. So much potential for those clothes, but the clothes are stuck in a cycle. When we think of putting a load of clothes in the washer, we usually attach a timeframe it will be completed. It’s really disappointing when we don’t get a completed cycle. Would you keep using this washing machine if it kept getting stuck?

In the Bible, the children of Israel was in the wilderness wandering, murmuring and complaining . When you’re complaining and stuck, you don’t realize how much time passes. Forty years had passed for the Israelites!!!

Have you made some decisions to become a better person because you know the path you’re on is a dead end? Do you start off with the mindset, A New Year, A New Me, well what happen just a few months later?

Let’s do a check to see if you’re in a cycle:

New friends, but you’re in the same drama
Better paying job, but the bills are still past due
Different guy, but he has the same characteristics as all the others
You had a makeover, but you’re still feeling the same
You declared a new you, but you have the same negative/doubtful attitude
A new year, but it looks and feel like all the years prior
Better situation, but you’re still complaining

The cycle starts and stops with you… It’s truly up to you. Changing your mind isn’t enough, but you must put action to your decision. However, it doesn’t stop there! We have to consciously make a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly decision to retrain our thinking and our actions. If we don’t consciously think and act, we will find ourselves repeating the Same cycle.

How do I get out of the cycle???

Examine yourself, what needs to change or grow
It’s ok to change for the better
Do the necessary steps to change
Stick with the change
Get some help to change or improve
Don’t talk about, be about it
Be open for improvement

Everyday life as we know it changes, so be the change you want to see. Remember, just because you’ve always done it a certain way doesn’t make it right.

Be Bold, Be Kind and Be a Woman on the Move!!!

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I’ve heard that before…

Hey Beautiful,

Let me start off by saying , we have been hearing a host of words and sounds all of our lives, but did we really listen? No

“Hearing’ is the physical activity of sound falling on the ears and the biological processes involved in its perception. ‘Listening‘ is the ability to pay attention to what the sounds means and understand it. “English language learners

Tell the truth what have you heard or told yourself before, but you failed to listen to? How do we hear one thing, but our actions show we really didn’t process what we heard?

Qualified for the position, but insecurities stepped in and caused anxiety.
Strong but you fall victim to believing you can’t conquer the task.
Beautiful , but you’re always comparing your beauty to others.
Leader, but you are too afraid to make decisions or stand alone.
Loyal , but you only hear you’re a push over.
Unique, but you hear different is a bad thing.
Deserve better, but you go back to the relationship, mindset, or old habits.

Have you heard this before?

You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made
There’s No one in this world that can be a better you
Love yourself first before you can love anyone else
You are a phenomenal woman

If you heard any or all of these statements before, do you believe it?

When you speak to yourself about yourself are you listening ? Are you paying Attention or are you distracted by your past mistakes, failures, disappointments, or people’s opinions?

Be a woman that’s intentional on what she feeds her spirit.

Be a woman who speaks words of life over herself and believes those words.

Be a woman who believes she deserves the best because she is the best.

Be a woman who makes wise decisions with her future in mind .

Be a woman who considers others.

Be kind, Be bold, Be a woman on the Move!!

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