Women on the Move

Define

Happy New Year!!

Hey Girl,

Would you consider yourself successful? Why or why not? I guess you’ve probably heard the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” well I believe the same thing should ring true for success.

According to dictionary.com -success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

How do you define success? Does it change based on other people’s accomplishments and expectations ? Do you consider a woman successful if she’s educated, an entrepreneur, has a closet full of designer clothes and handbags, a big home, a bank account full of money? What about if the children are in private school and a wealthy husband?

What if she doesn’t posses any of those things; would you still consider her successful? What if she had a few life setbacks- she has an older model car, and lives in an apartment? What if she shops at Ross and she doesn’t desire marriage or wealth; however, she desires to be an office manager and live a life of peace and contentment?

Have you ever accomplished a goal and you were proud until you compared it with someone else’s life?

I remember when I was a little girl, my brother taught me to tie my shoes. I was so happy! My happiness dwindled when I found out the other kindergarteners were pros at tying their shoes .

I was proud when I completed my college degree after many years of on and off schooling, but I noticed people my age had multiple degrees and sadly I didn’t feel as successful.

I’ve had numerous conversations with women over the years and the reality is, they usually feel successful until they hear about someone else’s accomplishment. They started feeling their accomplishment was minimal in comparison to the women in their circle, on their jobs and on social media.

They set goals and put time and effort to achieve the purpose, but they allowed their words and thoughts or the words of others to make them feel mediocre.

Why does someone else’s success have to make us feel that we haven’t succeeded? It was their goal, so it’s their success. That’s not what you wanted… You went after what you wanted.

Theodore Roosevelt said, Comparison is the thief of joy. I can recall plenty of times when my “joy” left when I compared my success with someone else’s.

A Few tips:

To thine own self be true- Learn yourself, so you can determine what’s important to you
Material things doesn’t equate success- Material things come and go and they shouldn’t define you
Success takes perseverance, and it’s not for the faint at heart- your success IS a big deal
Don’t allow society’s standard of success diminish your accomplishment
Success looks different at different time frames in your life- Remember you’re always evolving
Stop putting an “Only” on your accomplishments

If you want to go back to school… Go!

If you want to learn a new skill… Do it!

If you want to write the book… Write it!

If you want to start a healthier lifestyle… Start!

If you want to start a business … Go Ahead!

If you want to travel… Get your passport and travel!

If you want peace… Pursue it!

If you want to grow spiritually … Seek God!

You Can Do All Things through Christ who Strengthens You Philippians 4:13

Remember

Make a commitment to define your own success, and don’t allow society to define it for you. I’m learning that my success is not determined or dependent on the next person’s success. I don’t have to downplay what I consider success .

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

Be Kind, Be Bold & Be a Woman on the Move

Bloom & Prosper

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Hey Beautiful Lady,

Oh life, oh life when will you Bloom!

Oh life, oh life when will you Prosper… said, No Flower

Have you considered the process of those beautiful flowers you admire in nature? No? Well neither did I until I tried to create a garden.

I adore all pretty flowers, but I never pondered on its process.

Me and a good girlfriend started visiting nurseries and to my surprise, the species of flowers were endless! They come in variations of the rainbow. Some of the flowers are bright and bold, but some are dark and striking.

I have noticed some are delicate and small, but there are some that grow enormous, unique and rough. To be honest some aren’t pleasing to my eyes, oh but their striking uniqueness makes them so inviting!

Well, I decided I wanted to replicate a beautiful garden at my home; something similar to the magnificent gardens I’ve seen on HGTV.

Ask any gardener and they will tell you, “great gardens don’t happen over night.”

OK, there’s reality, and then there’s me.

I began purchasing my seeds, soil and fertilizer because I’m determined to have a masterpiece that everyone will adore. I can just feel it!!

Did I want it for me, or for show?

It’s time for the work…

Well, these tiny seeds have to go into the ground covered in dirt and bugs. Did I mention, I dont like either one?

The seed package shows a picture of a full bloomed seed. I’m excited! This seed has so much potential inside of it, but if only I can endure the process.

I had to get low to put the seed into the ground. This process make you humble yourself because you are forced to get to the ground without a care of who’s watching you in the process.

You don’t put on your best clothes because you will get dirty and hot.

You have to water consistently even when you’re hot and tired. I forgot to water for 2 days and I came home to my new blooming flower dying in the scorching sun.

I want to Bloom & Prosper, but am I dedicated to the work?

All of this hard work and dedication and I still don’t have my beautiful botanical garden that I envisioned.

Disapointment, anxiousness, comparision and doubt flood my thoughts.

Why aren’t they blooming and prospering right now?

Flowers bloom in different seasons, so check the timing. Are you expecting a spring bloom in the summer season?

According to Ecclesiastes 3:1,
Everything has its own time, and there is a specific time for every activity under heaven:

What does it need to come forth? So check the instructions for your specific flowers. Don’t be tempted to follow someone’s instructions. They may have something different blooming

There are some flowers that grow in Full Sun.

There are some flowers that grow in the shade.

A few species of flowers even live in water.

Remember…

Sometimes we look and admire people, but we don’t consider their process.

She’s blooming and prospering, but it didn’t come overnight.

She may look different, but she’s unique for her purpose.

She may be an extrovert and need full sun.

She may be an introvert and does well alone.

She may flourish her best under constant movement of the water.

Under the right conditions, perfect timing, persistence and dedication… You will bloom and prosper.

Don’t get angry or envious if your life doesn’t look like your neighbors.

Ask yourself, are you really dedicated, consistent, committed or disciplined to handle it!

Check your priorities against all your desires.

Trust God’s purpose, timing and process for your life!!

With time, patience, commitment and dedication you will eventually bloom to who you were created to be, and share your gift with others.

Be Kind, Be Bold & Be a Woman on the Move

Walking, but distracted!

Hey Beautiful Lady,

Have you ever been walking along a path and your cellphone rang and you lost the tempo of your walk? Did you say no? Well ask the people that are watching you from on the sideline. The other day I was walking behind a person who was walking pretty fast as though a goal was in mind. The phone rang and the upbeat walk became slower. The person was no longer ahead of me, but now, the person was side by side with me. Did the person’s conversation slow them down or did the enthusiasm to get to the goal change?

The person probably didn’t realize their pace had changed !!!

I noticed and wondered, has that been me… The awful truth was Yes.

Have you seen people texting and walking? I have seen people walk into people, walk into walls, and objects. Did they plan to slow their movement, probably not. They were so distracted they didn’t notice people in their Path. Was the message so important they forgot the plan? How could you lose track of your surroundings and not look up ?

No, I would never make something or someone more important than my Purpose. I would never lose track of what’s around me. Uh, the ugly truth is that I have done it before.

This is so much deeper than a cellphone!

According to Webster,
Walking is to move along on foot : advance by steps
Distraction – a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.

Ladies, let’s talk heart to heart… Who and what distracted you from your Purpose?

It’s possible to be walking and not realize you are Distracted!!

That’s the strange part because we usually believe that if someone or something else has our attention we would be aware.

You’re probably saying, I am still moving. You’re right, but who wants mediocrity? You used to run with passion. You used to talk about your intentions all the time. You used to have zeal about accomplishing your plan. You used to dream about it. You used to think of different ways to make it or you better.

Possible Distractions
We can be our biggest distraction with laziness, procrastination, time management, worry, doubt, no direction, fear, excuses, lost of zeal, social media, did I mention excuses? our past failures, rejection and the list continues.

Not All distractions are bad, but check the timing and the end result.

If it takes you off course, it’s still a distraction.

How to stay focused?

Beginning right now do a self check to see if you’re distracted, if so adjust your crown.

My Pastor did a sermon about a changed mind , changes your life.

It made me consider my life choices were dependent on what I was thinking about.

Be honest with yourself, what are you thinking about?
Does that thing have your full attention when you should be focused on something else?
Keep Moving Forward!

^{Philippians 3:12-16( MSG)}

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.

Be Kind, Be Bold & Be a Woman on the Move

With Love,

Snooze Please

How many times have you pressed the snooze button?

Hey Ladies,

OMG, I’m late…

I hit my snooze button on my alarm clock without ever opening my eyes. I think I hit it multiple times within a course of an hour. Why did I hit the snooze button so many times this morning, so now I’m pressed for time. All my rushing, I’m not able to spend my much needed alone time with God, I can’t do my morning workout, I can’t make breakfast and I run into rush hour traffic.

According to Webster-

Snooze- nap or something boring or uninspiring

Snooze Button- a button on an alarm clock that stops and resets the alarm for a short time later to allow for more rest

Now, if this was the only time this happened I wouldn’t be so disappointed in myself. I’ve pressed the snooze button on my life too many times to count. I was snoozing when I should have been working. I was snoozing when I should have been planning. I was snoozing when I should have been cleaning. I was snoozing when I should have been praying. I was snoozing when I should have been living life. The funny part about snoozing is you don’t realize the amount of time is passing.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the rest that was given to me by pressing snooze.

However, when I woke up I had to deal with the consequences of all that extra snoozing. I had to make some decisions in my life. Would I stay on the same course of snoozing through life because of fear, disappointment, laziness, or would I allow my self to overcome myself?

Here’s your challenge- Ask your self- why are you snoozing on your dreams, responsibilities, relationships and your purpose. Take a look at what the bible says to us lazy folks. Yes, I had to admit it. I was lazy.

Proverbs 6:6-11

Go to the ant, O lazy one;
Observe her ways and be wise,
⁷
Which, having no chief,
Overseer or ruler,
⁸
She prepares her food in the summer
And brings in her provisions [of food for the winter] in the harvest.
⁹
How long will you lie down, O lazy one?
When will you arise from your sleep [and learn self-discipline]?
¹⁰
“Yet a little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to lie down and rest”—
¹¹
So your poverty will come like an approaching prowler who walks [slowly, but surely]
And your need [will come] like an armed man [making you helpless].

My pastor have these sayings-

Don’t Assume- ( If you don’t know ask)
Complete The Task-( Be a finisher)
Follow Through- ( Keep your word)

Everyday you must make a decision to show up for your life. Don’t snooze through life because of laziness, difficulties, uncertainties or frustration. Live life on purpose, so no more snoozing please!

Be Kind, Be Bold and Be a Woman on the Move!!!

I’m Strong, But I Need Help

Did you know that if you asked for help, it doesn’t make you less than?

man s hand in shallow focus and grayscale photography — Photo by lalesh aldarwish on Pexels.com

Hey Beautiful Lady,

Did you know that if you asked for help, it doesn’t make you less than?

Dependent– according to Webster, means “to rely on someone or something for help”

I found myself on a long road trip using my GPS, but I just had it on as a safety net. I drove for hours with the GPS volume on low and I was listening to my music. Suddenly, I heard a very faint voice that said delay was up ahead.

My GPS told me my journey had been rerouted to save me from traffic problems. The GPS gave me the option to go with the new plan or continue with the original plan.

Well to be honest, I didn’t listen to everything the GPS said to me, I just knew I didn’t want to sit in traffic.

Happily, I took the next exit to continue on my wonderful journey without any interruptions. The new course didn’t have a lot of traffic, so I’m smiling to myself thinking this is going to be great.

I turn my music back up and I’m cruising down the road until everything begin to look unfamiliar. I only made 2 turns off of 95 N, but now my roads are narrow and the lights are dim. There are a few cars driving on the road, but they are speeding down the dark road like they are familiar with the turns. The longer I drove, the more nervous I became, because I have never seen this route before. I turned on my high beams, turned down my music, and I put the GPS volume on HIGH!

I’m scared and I need help! I don’t want to be on this road by myself!!! I get a great idea that I’m going back to my familiar route, where I don’t need to be dependent on the GPS; however, I did attempt to recalculate my GPS to take me back.

The GPS calculations show it would take too long to get back to the familiar road, and I would still face the delay in traffic. I’m too far to turn back now!

I started getting angry with myself and the GPS. I don’t understand why I listened to this machine. I’m thinking who can come rescue me?

I’m thinking, I didn’t count the cost of this new journey.

I didn’t want to experience delay on my journey, but I didn’t want isolation from everyone either. Every emotion that was inside of me came out, I’m laughing, crying, and screaming; and it was at this point, that I realized I was dependent on something.

This is when I gave myself permission to depend on the GPS. The GPS didn’t give me full details of the roads, it just promised that I would avoid trouble and delay.

Eventually I relaxed, and I decided I wouldn’t be on this road forever. The road conditions didn’t change, but my mindset about this new journey changed.

Finally, I saw more vehicles and the roads became brighter. I was home!!

When you find yourself on a new life journey, don’t panic or surrender to fear. Submit to God Almighty, the one who knows the complete plan for your ministry, business, relationship, career, children, family and finances.

Repeat after me… When I am weak, He is Strong.

God wants us to become completely dependent on Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart

and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

In all your ways, know and acknowledge, and recognize Him,

And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].

Be Kind, Be Bold, Be a Woman on the Move

I want it, I deserve it!!

Jealousy-Is-The-Art-DC01 Envy- a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck ( Dictionary.com)

Raise your eyebrow if you can admit of ever been envious. Envy isn’t a trait that we usually boast about having, but It’s an hidden issue that’s rarely spoken about. We don’t know how that emotion arises in us, but we become ashamed of having those feelings.

Our human nature is all about “Self”. I want it, I deserve it is what we say to justify our feelings. I deserve to be first, I deserve to win, I deserve to live there, I deserve that vacation, I deserve that relationship, I deserve that career, I deserve that… The list goes on and on.

There have been occasions that I felt like I deserved something that I didn’t have… I started with a whirlwind of questions; why wasn’t I good enough to have this thing? What was I lacking? Why did that person get it and I didn’t get it? Women tell the truth, what crosses your mind when someone have something you think you deserve?

I know for me when I would start focusing on all the things other people had, I stopped being grateful for the things I had. I begun devaluing my blessings and accomplishments only focusing on what others had.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t desire more out of life. However, there’s a problem when you believe you’re more deserving than the other person. Envy that’s not dealt with turns to bitterness and hardness of the heart.

As women we should be uplifting, encouraging, supporting and rejoicing for one another…. Envy will have you putting down, gossiping, secretly hating and discouraging the woman right beside you. Remember there’s process and sacrifice behind everything you see in another person’s life.

Behind envy is usually insecurity, doubt and fear….

What can you do to rid yourself of Envy?

So put aside every trace of malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander and hateful speech; ( 1Peter 2:1)

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” (Proverbs 14:30)

Examine your heart
Make the confession of the emotion
Remind yourself of all the great things that you have in your life
Remember God knows the plan He has for your life
Be anxious for nothing

If you find yourself envious of another person’s life, don’t beat yourself up. Pray and make yourself a grateful list. I remember this song from my youth the chorus is ” Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done”!

Be Kind, Be Bold & Be a Woman on the Move

Compressed

laundry-pile

Hey Beautiful Lady,

I decided to do laundry one afternoon, so I emptied my laundry hamper on the floor to sort the clothes. When I finished emptying my hamper, my entire floor was covered with clothes.

The clothes were compressed in the hamper.

When you compress something or when it compresses, it is pressed or squeezed so that it takes up less space.

Compress definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary

I saw clothing that I hadn’t seen in a very long time, I forgot about some of the items. Out of sight, out of mind! The clothes were packed in so tight there’s no way I could deal with all of those clothes in one day of washing.

Why did I let the clothes pile up? How did I maintain my life with all those clothes in the hamper? How could this one hamper hold so many of my clothes? As I begin to sort those clothes, I went through so many emotions while sitting on my bedroom floor. I was surrounded by clothes that I could no longer avoid. I was Happy to see some items that I liked wearing. I was Overwhelmed that I had to wash so many items. I was sad that I allowed life to consume me, so I compressed EVERYTHING!

I had a choice in that moment, do I deal with what I had been avoiding or do I put it ALL back in the hamper?

I attempted to put it back in the hamper because I don’t think I had the emotional or physical strength to deal with these clothes. I cried as I put everything back on the floor in the various piles. It was time to deal with LIFE… I could no longer avoid those things I had been compressing. It was items I wanted to wear, I needed to wear.

I realized the clothes were just a representation of my life issues. Life became hard and overwhelming, so I kept pushing down EVERYTHING. Now what had I pushed down in my life to make room for other stuff… Death, heartache, friendships, children, finances, etc…

After I washed everything which took more than that afternoon, I felt happy & accomplished because I dealt with my issues.

Ladies let’s face it, It may be Out of sight, out of mind, but it is still there. Take some time and deal with some stuff you have been avoiding.

Will it be easy to face things that you’ve pressed down? No, it will take work and commitment. But the longer you avoid it the harder it will be.

It’s time… Time to deal with your finances, your health, your credit, relationships, insecurities, fear of commitment, childhood issues, heartache, raising children etc. It’s time to Decompress!

Be Kind, Be Bold and Be a Woman on the Move!

Wrong Bus, Wrong Stop…

train on road beside cars during nighttime — Photo by Justin Hamilton on Pexels.com

Hey Beautiful Lady,

I wasted my precious time… I’m still puzzled on how something that seemed so right ended up wrong. Everything appeared to have been going right for me, but I still ended up in the wrong place. I got on the shuttle after work because I didn’t want to walk a 10 minute journey in the cold by myself. I got on the shuttle so confident that I would get to my destination quickly. However, as the journey continued my confidence and joy faded.

How did I get confused with this familiar shuttle… I was distracted! I wanted immediate relief from the outside elements, so I went to something that appeared familiar. I was familiar with the appearance of the bus and the driver of the bus, but I NEVER caught that shuttle at that stop. I guess you can say my desperation pushed away my common sense.

The shuttle took me on a 45 minute journey in the opposite direction, I was too embarrassed to ask any questions. I made a lot of assumptions in my mind. Eventually everyone got off of the shuttle and I sat there all alone. I was confused and a little ashamed for not speaking up sooner. Finally, I asked the driver, if this bus went to my destination, she smiled then said you got on at the wrong stop.

When it was all over I had went to every bus stop on her route, I was forced to stop and wait at the 15 minute layover. During these stops I was very frustrated, because my precious time was being wasted. This wasn’t where i belonged, so I wanted to get off. But, I didn’t want to walk too far in the dark. I laughed at myself when it was all over because I really could have walked from the beginning .”Don’t be in such a rush to get comfort, please count the cost”.

A bus is meant to take you somewhere, but if you’re not careful you can definitely go to an unwanted/undesired place.

Desiring a quick fix, loneliness or desperation can force you on the wrong bus. This can lead you into being in financial debt, stuck in the wrong place, back in an old relationship or completely out of your purpose. Be careful!

Take some time to ask yourself:

Are you going in the wrong direction?
Do you feel like you’re going in circles ?
Are you fulfilling purpose?
Has loneliness, fear, doubt desperation, or comparison caused you to go back to the familiar ?
Have you become distracted?

Everyday is a new day, so choose to make decisions that will make your life better. You don’t have go along with a poor choice, you can change at any time. So what… Don’t stay on the wrong bus!!

Be Bold, Be Kind and Be a Woman on the Move

Thermostat or Thermometer… Which one are you?

round-mercury-thermostat Hi Beautiful Lady,

I was listening to a sermon on the radio a while back about making a difference and we should check to see if we are being a thermostat or thermometer. The segment only lasted about 23 minutes and he only mentioned the thermometer/thermostat part for a few seconds. However, I have been examining myself since I heard the message. I had to look up the meanings of these words because I was truly curious .

The definitions according to Webster:

Thermometer an instrument for determining temperature ( I just read the environment of the room, I can’t control anything)

Thermostat provides or control the temperature( I have the power to control the environment, I dictate what I want the room to be)

I begin to ponder on those definitions and asked myself a few questions. Do I just go with the flow of my environment/life? Do I have the power to change an environment? Do I see things happening at work, school, family and the community and I just shake my head? I had to be truthful with myself because sometimes I’m just a thermometer! I see things in my life or in the world around me that needs change and I do absolutely Nothing. A thermometer can’t change the temperature it only interpets the temperature. Remember the saying, when you know better, do better. However, we don’t always do what we know is best.

I remember working in a building and no matter how the employees felt, we had no control of how cold or hot it got. I felt powerless because I could be feeling really cold or hot but someone else dictated my reality .

Why have I taken the position of a thermometer when I have the power and abilities to be a thermostat?
Who locked away my power and control behind a locked box?
Did I give someone my key and now they tell me what I should feel or how/when it should change?

Ladies, have you ever came in to a room and it was heavy with confusion, drama, depression, sickness, lies, un-forgiveness, self-pity or self-defeat well what did you do? Sometimes the very room I’m talking about is your own Life. Everyday, we’re faced with the choice to go along with what we see, hear or feel or we can use our abilities to make a change.

Do you like what you see with your health, relationships, finances, dreams, workplace, families, community and government? What have you done to change what you see? Have you gone along with the flow because you believe it will never change? Do you know how to change it? Most times when I just gave up my power, it was because I believed it has always and will forever remain this way. I didn’t want to get involved. I felt defeated. I felt hopeless.

Why have you allowed how someone else’s feelings dictate how you feel or react/respond? Why have someone else’s thinking or belief impacted your ability to move forward with your life? He doesn’t want to be married, so why has that hindered you from believing you were good enough? You didn’t have the best childhood growing up,so why does that control how you treat your own children? No one you know has ever owned a home or was a business owner, so why has that stopped you from pursing your dream … We have daily encounters with people and situations which we voluntarily and subconsciously become thermometers.

Today, make a decision that you will be the change you want to see. Decide that you will no longer go with the flow, but you will use your God-given power to make change. Speak change, Be change and Invoke change… Everyday choose to be the best you can be, even if that means asking for help to be a better you.

The bible say, Faith without works is dead…Put some action to the situation you desire to change. There maybe times you can’t physically change a situation or make a person change, but you can Always pray to an ALL POWERFUL GOD who can move mountains!!!

Be Kind, Be Bold and Be A Woman on the Move!

How to stop fear from ruining your future!

bird s eye view photography of road in the middle of desert

Hey Beautiful Lady,

Let’s talk about this four letter word that has enough strength to paralyze your future if you let it.

Webster defines fear as: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.

It’s an emotion that can control our senses, our appetite, our abilities, sleep pattern, and the digestive tract.

We won’t admit that fear has stopped us from moving forward into new careers, new opportunities, entering or exiting relationships, checking our credit scores, going to the doctors, finishing task we started, asking for raises at work, asking/giving help, becoming entrepreneurs, traveling the world and discovering who we truly are internally.

Am I alone , I didn’t want to be a failure so I let fear stop me from starting. I didn’t know what the unknown was so I stayed in my comfortable place. I didn’t want to be rejected so, I never tried. Fear allowed me to grab any excuse that could arise…So I let it stop me.

Fear it’s time to go… So I can grow!

First be honest with yourself
Face your fear, it doesn’t have to control or cripple your decisions
Change and renew your thinking
Don’t wallow in past failures and disappointments
Trust the process of leaving your comfort zone
Stop self sabotage
Put the work in for your goals
Believe in yourself
Speak positive words of affirmation
Avoid negative thinking and talking

Most importantly God hasn’t given us the spirit of fear but of power, love and of sound mind.( 2 Timothy 1:7)

Be Kind, Be Beautiful, Be a Woman on the Move

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